The Power of Laughter

Laughter and irony helps us all survive and laugh at our pitfalls and faupax.

Well spazzy Hand (that’s me) strained my knee ligament yesterday skiing my last day this season at beautiful Mt. Hood Meadows.
Luckily no breaks and no tears, a few tears and lots of laughter and groaning instead.

You know what was weird is that I went over three very big 25 ft. jumps they made for
us skiers and snowboarders at a newer terrain park right below mid mtn. with no problem…I mean 3 in a row...I am feeling like a real over 35 yr. old athlete at this point! (ok over 40- details, details)
I rested for a few minutes (ok 1-2) and then went down the hill to go into the apres ski sun scene as it was my rare one run AFTER lunch in SPRING snow…..yes it was getting soft fast.

Anyhow, I stopped to see if John one of my boarding companions was ok after he dumped on his board right in front of me.
I was going around him to avoid him slowly and then turned to see if he was ok (slowly) and then all of a sudden I was skiing backwards and then backwards with my skis CROSSED and then down a steep hill backwards with my skis crossed.

So there I am careening down the hill in slow motion lauging hysterically at myself, and becasue of my gymnastic training (and that one self defense class I took when I was 13) I know how to fall to get out of it and turn my skis around.
Next scene...I'm flying down the hill backwards on my back with my skis crossed TRYING TO RIGHT it..and I am thinking- shit..my skis are not going to come off because there is no IMPACT.

So I kept trying to flip around and THEN the skis, that are CROSSED as I am flying backwards catch IN THE SNOW AND I FEEL MY KNEE BEING PULLED and then I am praying- COME OFF SKI, COME OFF and then one FINALLY comes off and my other one does n't and I am able to stop UPSIDE DOWN on the hill with my head facing down the hill with one ski still intact. I feel like I need to join Cirque de Soleil any moment.
So I'm I holding the one ski straight up in the air because I don’t want to injure my good knee at this point.
WHY can’t we have a YARD SALE when we need one!!!

At this point my knee feels like someone took the ligament and stretched it and I am praying- now go back to your original place….
Go back, go back… and thinking how I feel like the stretching Wendy on the Incredibles )was she the one who stretched?)

Anyhow I am lying on a steep hill upside down with my head down the hill for ten minutes contemplating my ride in the sled as an option. My nice friend John is just saying: take your time, take your time as I am yelping in pain. Then all of a sudden my knee went back to what felt like normal-the ligament stop pulling and calmed down.
(whew!)
So John made sure I got down ok to the outdoor bar area after flagging Royce who had been wating for us wondering wehre we were the whole time-hoping I would have a drink and leave my two male companions to ski more no doubt.
I turned around and they both were gone.

45 later John came in with a severely broken wrist...it reminded me of this funny story and my moral for the day:

Skiing Accident
A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over. The "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.

If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know That a temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters. So with time running out, she weighed her options.

Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods. No one would ever notice, he assured her. The white will provide more than adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing and proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and a wrong way to set your skies so you don't move. Yup, you got it. She had the skies positioned the wrong way.

Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without any warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out of control racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them, and on to the slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while she continued on backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual sight for the other skiers.

The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back under the lift, and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was she broke her arm and was unable to pull up the ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, put an end to her nude show, then went to the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to a hospital.

In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with a broken leg was put in a bed next to hers.

"So, how'd you break your leg?" She asked, making small talk.

"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backwards out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging out. I leaned over to get a better look and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell out of the lift."

"So how'd you break your arm?"

Thought for the day? Is it still called skiing if you are flying backwards down the hill or is that a modern alpine form of breakdancing?